Let’s get real – as women, living in today’s male-dominated world, it’s SO common to be living out of balance – relying more often on our productive & driven masculine energy than our softer, more easeful feminine energy. 

This is what our culture values & prioritizes – and quite frankly, it can be exhausting feeling like we’re constantly on the go, constantly doing. 

Which usually leads to feeling overwhelmed and unable to relax (even when you have a chance to sit down). A good question to ask yourself is, 

“Does resting make me feel any level of guilt because I’m not being productive?”

If you answered yes to that question – you’re not alone. It’s also not your fault – we’ve all been conditioned to think that productivity > rest.  The good news is that you can do something about it before it starts to negatively impact your health. 

Here are 6 signs you may be living out of balance between your masculine & feminine energy: 

1. If you’re not already referring to yourself as type A, others are. 💁‍♀️

2. You overextend yourself; being all things, to all people, at all times. You always put your own oxygen mask on last, if there is even any oxygen left at that point.. 😮‍💨

3. You give, give, give but have trouble receiving or delegating (because for real, no one does it as good as you, right?). Or, receiving is uncomfortable, and asking for help drudges up feelings of unworthiness. 🙅‍♀️

4. You’re in a state of perpetual busyness where you feel you simply cannot relax or sit still because you must *always be productive*. The guilt or overwhelm is too much and it drives you to keep going. 💨

5. You feel significantly disconnected from your emotions and bodily sensations (and what they are trying to tell you). Intuition and intuitive decision-making? More like decision fatigue and ruminating. 😴

6. You find it difficult to give or receive nurturing or intimacy (something as simple as a hug, a compliment, sustained eye contact, or receiving pleasure). 

If feeling chronically stressed – tired – foggy – anxious – irritable – gaining weight without having changed your diet or lifestyle – hormones all outta whack – always go, go, go, do, do, do – describes you… then listen up. 📣

Part of the root issue may be that you’re living in your masculine energy most of the time.

I want to be clear, this isn’t about gender. We all have masculine and feminine energy. I also want to assure you that masculine energy is a good thing! We need it. It’s action-oriented and about structure and rules. It’s focus and willpower. It gets things done. 

It’s just not sustainable without its complimentary feminine side. 

Ask yourself, do you feel balanced?

What would happen if you made leaning into your feminine side a priority more often?  Here are some thoughts on how you could do that. 

Start with taking time to reflect and connect with your inner world/self. Most of us are so busy we don’t prioritize time for self-reflection. If you’re always living with a focus on your external world, you lose touch with your deeper self. 

This could look like: 

• Journaling, going to therapy, 10 minutes of quiet time to yourself to think, going for a walk alone (and not consuming podcasts, e-books, etc.).
• Getting in touch with your emotions & prioritizing how you want to feel.
• Honoring when you need to rest.

Instead of prioritizing work – shift towards valuing spontaneity and play. We’re overworked and therefore don’t often experience the spontaneous joys of life. Instead of waiting for your next vacation, consider how you can bring more play into the everyday. Choose something that brings you into the present moment and makes you forget about time, if even for a moment. Getting out of that overworked state can really help you feel like yourself again.

You could also focus on: 

• Prioritizing connection 
• Honing your intuition and gut instincts.
• Doing something creative. 
• Asking for help. 
• Indulging your senses. Sit and feel the sun on your skin, light a [natural non-toxic] candle, go for a massage, nature walk after it rains, walk barefoot in the grass, mindfully relish in something delicious.
• Living with more flexibility and flow. Cycle syncing is just 1 example of this.
• Cultivating community. Do you have a supportive sisterhood of like-minded women? 

But why am I, an ND, talking about this? Because this is an underlying issue when it comes to our HEALTH. 

Focusing on how we use our energy is an example of looking upstream to try and address a problem that’s causing downstream effects: burnout, anxiety, insomnia, chronic fatigue, depression, and feeling disconnected or isolated (from others, but also ourselves, and from nature).

Living in greater balance with these two energies is a huge part of managing stress, in turn improving sleep quality, digestion, brain health, and so much more.

It reminds me of a patient I saw this week, let’s call her Mary. Mary came to see me after she’d had an emotional and physical breakdown culminating in a heart attack and several other health issues during a period of very high work stress. She used to ‘people please’ like no other, constantly worrying about making a mistake, letting someone down, or what other people thought of her. 

Now, Mary was back in the thick of it for months, this time with very sick loved ones, and her resilience to stress had increased substantially. The improvements we had achieved with her psoriasis, digestive issues, and insomnia were holding steady, she was even off several of the supplements she used to rely on. 

Even though her lifestyle is still busy, Mary is doing well. What’s changed? 

Her mindset.
Her boundaries with work, her family, friends, and her boss.
Her self-worth.
Her ability to honour her own needs before the needs of everyone else. 

I’ve been coaching her through this over the past 2 years and now, when she reflects on her health crisis from 3-4 years ago, she feels like a different person. Hearing her speak now, I agree! Except she isn’t a different person, she’s coming home to herself.

Being out of balance energetically leaves many of us longing for something else – something rejuvenating, wild, and spontaneous. A version of us that feels more resourced and pleasure-filled.

It’s the feminine!

If you feel burned out, overworked, fragmented, or exhausted, try balancing with feminine energy to restore, inspire, and enliven you so that you feel whole again and like… you. 

Interested in learning more about how to integrate this into your life? Join the waitlist for the Wild Collective!

Dr. Willow